Yesterday my old 9 year old post on Facebook came up in the memories section and I realized that what I was saying back then still applies today, so I decided to write an article about what I was talking there. Be aware that this article contains foul language and contains many quotes from Facebook posts that might not be interesting at some point. I wanted to say this from the beginning so I wont bore you with old posts and comments if it’s not your thing.

For many years I’ve been an adversary of bad occult literature, especially that sold at high prices, and I tried to educate people into quality reading material. On Facebook, people know me as the mf who doesn’t tolerate huge prices for bad books. In my former private/closed Facebook group “Occult Book Collectors” I used to have a very strict rule regarding this.

I’d like to explain my position and the reasons why I’m so against this new form of occult publishing and occult literature.

I believe it all started with the publisher Ixaxaar, many years ago (I can’t remember when they first appeared), when they started publishing authors like E.A. Koetting, charging lots of money for their books which were limited editions. They were producing limited editions with so-called deluxe bindings for authors which, at that time, were not even known, these were their first books ever, so basically nobody knew who these writers are, how knowledgeable they are, what their background is etc. Some of the books published by Ixaxaar were good, like those of Jeremy Christner for example. However, they were still new authors, the books were small, the binding was actually cheap and badly made and the prices were high. Nevertheless, Ixaxaar managed to become a very important publisher back in the day and it’s still very appreciated by many people today. They had a good marketing technique that attracted a lot of people who were intrigued by this underground writing club, delivering books quite different from what it was on the market at that time, and the way they described the books was also very intelligent, making the buyer very curious about them and their products.

After the success of Ixaxaar, other publishers started using the same technique of limited “deluxe” editions of books at high prices, the market was flooded by titles by peculiar authors.

After many titles were sold out, people started to take advantage of this and started selling their copies of sold-out titles at huge prices. The books of E.A. Koetting were probably the most sought after and the most expensive as well. So the occult book market became something luxurious, but not for the classical masterpieces nor the highly acclaimed academic studies, but for some obscure books with weird titles, sigils and of course, “promises”. And here is the problem.

The titles that were being sold at high prices were actually bad from about all points of view. The content was full of nonsense, the bindings were cheap, the printing was bad. Basically, people were selling dreams to the naive, and became a business that was ripping people off.

While the serious writers were struggling to make a buck out of their titles, which were sold at decent prices for normal hardcopy or paperback available for anyone interested in LEARNING, the false prophets of the Left Hand Path were selling their bullshit A LOT. Ebay and Facebook occult book markets were filled with these offers. However, I always tried to explain to people what they are actually buying and I was even trying to stop this, helping people not to be ripped off. I had a Facebook page called Modern Occult Books which eventually turned into Timeless Occult Literature where I tried to promote the serious and valuable occult literature, but it was useless. People were looking for fancy books with fancy titles, not for serious content.

Here’s a quick review of post-Ixaxaar/post-Koetting/

(random invented titles)

Kult ov Ahriman

Order ov Kaos

Black Flame of the Cursed Snake

Black Book of the Cursed Snake

Black Rite of the Cursed Snake

Black Mascara of the Cursed Snake

+24125- (wtf?!)

The Forbidden Gnosis of..

The Infernal Gnosis of..

The Explicit and Parental Advisory Gnosis of…

aaaaand, the real titles:

The Infernal Path Crown of Flames

Volubilis Ex Chaosium

Sacerdotivm Vmbrae Mortis

The Divine Black Flame of Satan

The Book of Sassstia

Liber Spirituale Rapax – Book of Predatory Spiritualism

The Devil’s Grimoire: A System of Psychic Attack

Sekhem Apep: Typhonian Vampyre Magick

The Unholy Rites of the Black Church

The Magic of the Dark Lord Seth

VIA SINIESTRA: Under The Masks Ov The Red Gods

Book 75 or The Perfect Black Flame

Draconian Consciousness: The Book of Divine Madness

and the list goes on…. One recent title that made me laugh was “Codex Putrefactio Nigra: The Canaanite’s Book of Death” by Zulqarnayn XIII. I also forgot to mention that even the names of the authors were… well, funny.

The books were mostly a blend of systems, like blending the modern Qliphoth with many other traditions, or simply new invented systems with invented sigils and invented rituals of unknown authors claiming to bring your power and whatever else. We are talking about 80-120 page books filled with questionable rituals and sigils, little historical information or deformed historical information, which were sold at high prices.

So to sum it up, the new LHP current was and is led by some very unoriginal people who lack imagination and creativity. Using the same words, same style, same ideas, with almost the same image: Weird invented sigils of weird invented demons, all in black and white. Good thing is, at least they got over the red and black period.

In the post I made 9 years ago (April 2016) I put a simple question: “Are you aware of the bullshit you are reading/writing/believing/following?”

So people ask me, if Koetting, Michael W. Ford, Nestor Avalos, Edgar Kerval, S Ben Qayin and the like are not my cup-of-Jaggermeister, then who is? Well, S. Connolly, Thomas Karlsson, Jeremy Christner, Stephen Flowers, Brother Nero (yep, him!), Order of Nine Angles etc.

Maybe I’m too picky? Why?

First of all, because they haven’t published a 100 page book in leather which is now sold at revolting prices. And because their information is a bit more historically accurate. BUT !!!… but…. of course, they all have flaws. Nobody is perfect, no occult book is perfect. But there are good ones and bad ones. I know people find Connolly very suspicious with her Dukante hierarchy and old grimoires, as well as the invented sigils and the enns. I know Karlsson is accused of inventing modern Qliphoth system or following Kenneth Grant in this matter, I know that Brother Nero is considered limited and too religious, I know ONA is so messed up because of some of the nexions that went too far with the extremist mentality… but! Connolly for example actually made a good research when writing her books, at least where she is talking about demonic hierarchies, and those parts which are not considered to be her inventions are actually real historical information, Karlsson did in fact study qlipphoth from the likes of Gershom Scholem and he has a PhD in Religious Studies, Brother Nero is a religious leader and his mission is to preach, and he is one of the people who actually introduced real Satanism to the world after Church of Satan. As for Christner… I think Christner would be a long debate, and so would Stephen Flowers.

Connolly and Karlsson brought some fresh air, like the Golden Dawn did back in the days. They may not be 100% traditional, but at least they are logical and honest. I myself have worked successfully with Connolly’s Dukante hierarchy and system of magic, but I don’t need to say that it worked, you can say the same about Koetting making you a living god. Unfortunately, after Karlsson’s book “Qabalah, Qliphoth and Goetic Magic” (which we could say it has become a classic now) which was first published in 2004, a whole new movement started regarding the Qliphoth and Sitra Achra, some of them being ok and some being utterly stupid. A new book on Sitra Achra, namely “Sefer-ha Sitra Achra” by A.D. Mercer came to bring some sense and order in the chaos that has become on this subject.

Stephanie Connolly is a writer that I respect to a certain degree (though I have lots of things against her as well)… for various reasons. The first reason would be the fact that she is direct and clear and speaks in a way that even a guy from Kazakhstan would understand. The second, is that she made her way and her name respected by publishing lots of books at reasonable prices without anybody’s help. Third, she actually brought something NEW. Fourth, most of the times she gives her sources (except the mysterious demonolatry grimoires) and the sources are good. Oh, and she’s not affiliated to any black metal band hahah. However, the number of small books she keeps writing shows a desire to make money and not exclusively to educate. We are being bombarded by her titles. She writes a book for every subject: Demonic Pacts, Demonic Possession, Demonic Prayer, Demonic this, Demonic that. These are chapbooks that don’t go beyond 60 pages, but at least she has the decency of asking a good price for these. And I respect that.

She also wrote a rant back in 2014 about the future of esoteric publishing, so in this case I think it’s good to know her thoughts about the subject we’re discussing. However, her post is no longer available for some reason, but you can find it though internet archive here:

https://web.archive.org/web/20230202180307/http://sjreisner.com/2014/01/06/rant-the-future-of-esoteric-publishing/

(it will take some time to load, but it will load eventually and it’s worth waiting)

I was actually discussing with her this whole idea of deluxe limited edition crazy business, and these are her words:

“I ventured into the realm of limited edition hardcovers under extreme duress. I will tell you this – the market is so saturated that those folks who think they’re going to get rich writing occult books, or publishing them, will be sadly disappointed. And yeah – I don’t understand the $150 anthology. For the record, with occult anthologies the ONLY payment authors usually receive is a free copy, bragging rights, and exposure. The people who make money are the publisher and the editor.

Also, a lot of times the author gets screwed over by the publisher of said limited edition hardcovers. That’s why you see so many authors jump publishers. It’s a cut throat business and like all publishing, the author is often the one who is paid the least.

Books have to earn out their production costs before the author sees a single cent and authors are at the mercy of the publisher’s honesty and accounting. Not all publishers are bad, mind you, but since anyone can become a publisher with a few thousand bucks to invest, not everyone is honest or qualified to run a business.

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to call them mafia, but pimps — absolutely. Writers are their whores.

Without us they couldn’t exist, but they try to convince us that we need them more than they need us.”

Here she was referring to a post that I wrote back in July 2014 that I will simply copy-paste here from my Facebook (and please excuse the foul language of the 24 year old that I was):

“What-the-fuck-is-happening?! Can anyone rationally explain to me?!

Who the fuck would pay 150$ or 225$ for a book written by unknown authors?! What the fuck is it with these publishers and people buying these books at such high prices?! 69 editions in Blood Offering Crimson Finish… what the fuck is that?!

Please excuse my vocabulary, but this is getting really really revolting! Do these people even know how to appreciate money and quality?!

I swear… I will write a 100 page book soon and I can bet with you all I’ll have it published in human skin, signed with the blood of a virgin and ritually put it under the protection of the Four Kings of Hell….. in approx. 1 month after the release I expect to have followers swearing it’s authentic shit, powerful enough to bring upon the Destruction of Mankind.

They sell “Three books of Agrippa” at 34$ and “Picatrix” at 30$ on amazon. They sell “Corpus Hermeticum Mead Edition” at 7$ !!!!! And you give me this SHIT at 150$ ?! Are you out of your mind?!

I thought that the kitsch is proliferated only in the music industry and Hollywood. I never expected that the occult community would turn into such a shameless money-robbing mafia! Because theoretically that’s what it is: A mafia. People promising you authentic stuff at high prices and in fact giving you toilet paper bound in horse-cock skin.

Why don’t they republish the classics and make them deluxe editions? Classics that are out of print!

Let the no-namers work for their money! Let them write at least one book of at least 200 pages, publish it on lulu.com and let the public decide it’s authenticity ! When they become classics and have been approved by the majority that they are genuine and actually do have powerful rituals, only then they are worthy of a deluxe edition and such a price.

Also, most of the “Deluxe Editions” and “Leather Editions” are so badly bound that anyone could make such bindings. This was actually the opinion of a real book binder who brought books from such publishers. They don’t even use real leather !

Maybe I’ll start sounding like grandpa, but “back in my days” authors were publishing their work on lulu.com at reasonable prices. Stephanie Connolly is one of those people that actually worked for it. Though her material is debated weather it is authentic or not, at least she didn’t ask for such prices! And she actually wrote more than 300 pages in a book, not 100!”

Additionally in the comments I said that “maybe I’m not up-to-date with today’s writers. I can’t afford buying all the Deluxe Editions that are being published every week. Unfortunately, I’m not a millionaire. I could be wrong, of course. Maybe they wrote other 100 page books and charged hundreds of dollars, but I couldn’t afford to buy such valuable knowledge. For that, I admit my fault… With 150$ an average Romanian can buy food for about 2-3 weeks. With 150$ an average Romanian can party like an animal for at least two days straight!”

Ironically, Eamonn Loughran, the man behind Hell Fire Club Books who has later scammed people, taking their money and not sending the books, wrote in a comment saying  “sadly many of these ‘left hand path’ productions are total crap, badly written, ill-conceived, laughably bad all round. Yes the ‘leathers’ are in fact fake. I myself did a fine binding for one of these ‘publishers’ he then started issuing fake leather books to trade on the good name he had gained from using my studio! I must say i think that the use of the term ‘esoteric’ by many of these people is entirely misunderstood, what is sad is that a generation of newcomers will be entirely misguided by them. We have seen the rise of the sci-fi/wargamer occult obsessed dork, will we see the fall of the magician? It’s a point worth thinking on”.

The good thing about Eamonn and Hell Fire Club Books is that he publishes important and classic works and does a fine job with the bindings, and those who want to be cautious about not being scammed by ordering on his website can get some of his titles from Miskatonic Books.

And no, I don’t have anything against Deluxe Editions. What could I have against a deluxe copy of Agrippa, Trithemius all the way to Gershom Scholem or the like? Publishing a Deluxe Edition of a new, unknown author is like dressing a homeless guy in Armani suit and trying to convince people he’s a politician. At the moment I have 23 deluxe editions and two others on their way, that makes it 25. But at the same time I have lots of academic books that are also high priced, due to the high level of study and exclusive material published. And, speaking of academic books at high prices, this article should be of interest: https://www.theguardian.com/higher-education-network/2015/sep/04/academics-are-being-hoodwinked-into-writing-books-nobody-can-buy

I would personally boycott so that Ixaxaar and the like would stop printing anything, not just reprinting, as this”occult publisher” has nothing to do with either binding or writings, just publishing whatever people’s minds cook over the night.

Lets have an exercise of imagination: “Timmy is a sad young man. He was not too famous among the kids of his age, and now he wants revenge. Thus, he decides to write some fantasy which will later be labeled as occult, so it could sell. He gives it a weird name, wraps that 90 page fantasy in a fancy yet bad binding and puts it on sale for a big price and limited edition to trick people into thinking that what he wrote is THE deal, that his little fantasy is pure spiritual wisdom gathered in his 20 years of life and 5 years of study. Timmy is now happy. He has sold 20 limited editions of his fantasy and his name has become respected among idiots. Timmy is happy. Ixaxaar is happy. Idiots are happy. The end.”

I apologize for that, but this pro-“deluxe” bindings have got too far and it made me lose my patience. And even if the bindings were awful, at least the content should be acceptable in order to charge such big prices. I wouldn’t care if the binding was awful, if they published a great translation of, lets say, a Faustian grimoire that was never translated into english. So… do we buy and give our money for bindings or for books? You know there are also fake books that can make your library look nice, but have nothing on their pages.

In January 2018 I made another controversial post regarding one of Aeon Sophia Press releases, called “The Book of Devotional Service to the Dark King of Flame: Lucifer” and asked “how stupid can someone be, to pay so much for such a piece of shit?”

Jeremy Christner, the only author published by Ixaxaar that I like, wrote to that post saying: “It’s certainly a verbose title, but that’s not uncommon in this milieu, for better or worse. Have you read it, by chance?” to which I replied “I don’t have €45,00 plus transport taxes to spare for such a thing to read, nor the time. We’re talking about some made up prayers which anyone can do for himself (or I’m wrong, and this is actually the standard prayer for evoking Lucifer, of which nobody knew until now).”

We exchanged the following comments:

Christner:

“I generally give fellow Luciferians the benefit of the doubt regarding their sincerity, even if their modes lack the subtlety I find befitting of the path. If indeed their work is derivative and intends only to cash in on the huge financial rewards of writing such niche material (the financial rewards are inversely proportional to the degree of sober sincerity — you may be able to derive my meaning by reading between the lines there), then it’ll ultimately come back to bite them. Then again, they could be as inspired as we, but find themselves articulating that inspiration in a way we may not ourselves do.

One credit the gentleman deserves at the very least: these appear to be wholly religious books, not making charlatan claims of great powers awaiting the buyer or being packed from cover to cover with black curse rituals and the like.”

Me:

“You are right that these are religious books, and that is why I don’t understand the price. Anyone, or almost anyone can write down some prayers (yes, honest and powerful prayers) here and there, some can even write down some rituals… but lets be honest, they were not written by a famous and historical figure, they were written be someone like you and me. If a prayer book costs €45,00, then how much should a 3-4 year research and academic study be worth? I know, the price is also because of the binding (which, again, is quite a rip-off if you ask me. it’s justa simple leather binding, not the masterpiece of a bookbinder)… Imagine this: If everyone started writing 50 page books with “deluxe bindings”, all costing around 40-50 euros, how much money should I earn in order to buy them, read them and give my personal opinion? Just my 2 cents.. I exaggerated calling it “a piece of shit”, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not mad to pay that much for a few pages with prayers.”

Christner:

“Although I may instinctively agree in a knee-jerk sense, I understand that it’s not an informed instinct, for a few reasons. Having not read the gentleman’s work, I can’t make a determination on his value as an author. So to continue thinking that the work wasn’t worth the asking price I’d be relying on my judgment of what seems an excessively grandiose title coupled with the knowledge that his work isn’t widely circulated (argumentum ad populum?). How well his previous title(s) sold isn’t a very good measure. Many great authors sold an unfortunate few copies while they lived, only to gain considerable traction after death. For those authors that do/did become popular, they’re all doing something that anyone else can do: research and regurgitate. The fact that a book of prayers is something that anyone is capable of producing doesn’t mean an extant example of the same isn’t valuable. Most of us can do things, but it’s a question of if we choose to, and how well executed the product is in the end.

It seems the issue you take with him is ascribable to me as well: Lanterns is a book of scriptural verses, prayers, and the like, that was issued in a hardcover of less than 100 pages, and it sold for considerably more than the book we’re talking about. The chief difference? Boomsma’s title has only been made available in a somewhat dearly priced hardcover without an entry level/budget option made available. $55 (45 euro) is fair for a short run of finely bound books constructed of sewn signatures, but something worth saying is worth being made available to more than just the well-to-do, which is why I’ve always produced lower priced softcover editions. And although I’ve only encountered a few, I’m sure I’ve no shortage of detractors out there in occult book land.

In any case, I’m afraid you’ve misinterpreted my attempt at dialog as offense. I don’t know if you have any formal academic training in philosophy, but if a philosopher argues with you, it’s not necessarily a slight; it’s often a compliment. It means you’re well enough respected that somebody thinks that not only can you handle opposing views without becoming offended, but that you can consider them well enough to rationally defend your own in counter.”

I admit that the author didn’t promise great powers as others did with their books, but it was after all a prayer book put on sale for €45,00 plus shipping, which would easily mean a total of €65 at least. It did not contain material from which I could learn something new and that would help me in a way, not more than the free prayers available on the many LHP websites. And, as I expected, this book did not become a classic but it was long forgotten. Maybe if we follow Christner’s logic, we’ll have to wait until the writer dies to see if this book becomes valuable, but I doubt it will. Also, I don’t know why Christner thought I was offended.

The next day I made a new post to better explain myself:

“It seems that my last post offended some people which I didn’t want to offend. First of all, I’m sorry for exaggerating with calling the book “a piece of shit”, especially since I haven’t read it.

What I wanted to say is what I always said about such books: In order for a book to be sold at a high price, it must be worth that price. A 50-80-100 page book with prayers or rituals made up by you will never, ever be as valuable as a book with prayers or rituals written by a historical figure (Agrippa, Paracelsus, Papus, whoever you want… you got the idea). Those people earned their position in our history for the things they have accomplished, for the ways they have contributed to occult literature, history, practice, and so on.

If a book by an unknown writer is bound in leather and sold at 45, 50 or 60 euros, then how much should a classic work such as “Three Books of Occult Philosophy” by Agrippa, “Archidoxes of Magic” by Paracelsus, “The Twelve Keys” by Basil Valentine and the like, bound in leather, should be worth? I mean, look at Ouroboros Press, their titles, their bindings and their prices, and then look at Aeon Sophia Press, their titles/autors, their bindings and their prices. I hope you understand now.

“The Book of Devotional Service to the Dark King of Flame: Lucifer” is by no means a classic, or something that would make history in occultism. The binding is in no way a special binding, it’s just a very very simple leather binding, not the masterpiece of a bookbinder. I’ve went to a bookbinder and he bound me a book with 21 euros/26 dollars, and it looks the same as “The Book of Devotional..”

Using pompous words or old English to give it “some mystery” doesn’t make it any better (I’ve seen in the pictures of this book that the author uses words like “appeareth”), just like Koetting’s “poetry books” didn’t impress serious practitioners.

Anyone, or almost anyone can write down some prayers (yes, honest and powerful prayers) here and there, some can even write down some rituals. If everyone started publishing 50 page books at the price of 45 euros, how much money should I be earning in order to afford reading them all, so that I could give a review? I should be a millionaire! If such a book is being sold at 45 euros, then how much would a 3-4 year academic research/study bound in leather be worth? Or like I said, a classical text bound in leather. See my point?

Btw, it seems that the author of “The Book of Devotional Service to the Dark King of Flame: Lucifer” is also the author of “Psalterium Sathanas”. This was published a few years ago, if I remember correctly…. was that book a masterpiece? Did it change the occult world in any way? Yes? No? well…..

This is, and will always be my position. I will always be honest, even if it hurts some people. Unfortunately, my last post hurt some people I respect, but it’s still my opinion and I haven’t changed it.”

Another old post which I can’t find anymore on Facebook but I found it in an old Word .doc is about the publishing of “Compendium Rarrisium”, also by Aeon Sophia Press. My problem was that it was basically a printing of the original held by Wellcome Library, free for everyone. It was not translated, it was not edited, not commented etc. It was just copy-pasted and put into a cheap binding and sold for no less than €85 + shipping, which would mean €105 at least for me to get it. The book is now sold at €62, so instead of becoming more expensive over time it became cheaper and I don’t see people discussing about it, trying to find a copy or anything. But anyway, here’s what I wrote back then:

“Alright, so people are dumb, I was aware of that. People are thieves, i was aware of that too…. although I’ve been aware of these things for a loooong time, it always seems to amaze me.
Most of you know my opinions on publishers such as Aeon Sophia Press and “deluxe” bindings, but this time I think it has gone too far.
So, basically, these dudes and dudettes took off a free manuscript with no copy right, printed it and bound it in some pathetic way and they are selling it for 85 euros (plus shipping). It isn’t translated, annotated and it isn’t even bound in a special way (a professional bookbinder would look at this with disgust). Even so, they are charging for 85 euros. The saddest part is that people are already excited about this and plan to pay that sum of money.
Basically, anyone can do what Aeon Sophia Press has done and get much cheaper. I have the complete manuscript in high quality, all I need to do is print the pages and take them to a friend who also happens to be a bookbinder. And there! I’d have the same thing, only with 20 euros instead of 85 and with a much better binding.
I’m honestly disgusted by these things and how people in the occult community can be so unscrupulous with their fellow ‘occult friends’.
There has been a long and intense debate over my fb group Occult Book Collectors for that fact that I don’t allow people selling shit copies from unknown authors at over 150$. I have a conscience. For some unknown reason, I care about people that I haven’t even met, but I care probably because i hate seeing people being ripped off for a book that is just ‘out of print’ or ‘deluxe edition binding in horse cock skin’.”

These kind of rants have kept coming over the years, one was about S Ben Qayin, the guy with mascara on who was selling his personal copy of “Volubillis Ex Chaosium” (another title nobody talked ever since) for a huge price, and when I confronted him about this he simply blocked me so I told him that “being a great author and magus” he should be able to come with an argument, not block people, and recommended him to get a real job if he really needs money, or study for 20 years and write a real book. Like I kept saying, in order to charge big money for something it needs to be quality stuff, and quality in books means effort and study. Personally, I am ashamed to declare I’m into LHP or rather that I was into LHP, because of people like him, like Koetting and many others, because they give others the impression that LHP is some kind of black metal musicians doing rituals after drinking 10 beers and burping.

To give an ending and a conclusion to this article, I would say that not much has changed since 2014, at least in the LHP community and publishing. There’s a lot of material or the Qliphoth, on Qayin, on Vampyrism and people who still think that Vlad The Impaler[1] was some kind of dark lord instead of a devout Christian who built churches and monasteries but happened to have a rather “unconventional” way of dealing with enemies (we are talking about the Middle Ages, after all).

As a person interested in the LHP, I no longer feel that I belong there, and I prefer to keep to myself all I know and try to search in more serious places the things that I don’t know, instead of wasting big sums of money on such books.

[1] A good source of information of Vlad Tepes can be found here with English subtitles https://www.youtube.com/@CorpusDraculianum/videos

The post The modern world of LHP occult publishing (a rant) appeared first on Occult-Study.

But, my dear friends, we all die… we will all experience it, no matter what religion or belief we have.

Death does not make exceptions. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Well, that is your duty to find out, and that is the purpose of this exercise.

As I was saying, it is a ‘process’ which all living beings experience. The problem is not the death act itself but the way we perceive it. There are very, very few people who would actually accept and embrace death as it is, though some would say they don’t fear it, many of them haven’t even been close to it. So instead of fearing all your life for something that is inevitable, I believe it is wise to get to know what exactly do we fear… but how? Well, a real and factual answer would only be death itself, which I don’t recommend to anyone who hasn’t done his role in the physical world. But there are some other methods through which we could get a better (yet not complete) picture of Death. However, before we learn about Death we should learn about Life. Many of us don’t actually live, we survive. We don’t really acknowledge we are alive, we are all too caught up in the mundane stuff or even rituals.

Stage I: Acknowledge Life

So, the first and most important advice I would give is to open up to ourselves and meditate on the things that make us alive.

How conscious are you of your breathing? Of course you know you breathe, but have you ever observed it closely? No, not during panic attacks. I mean, closing your eyes, breathing and trying to observe your breath and get to actually be aware of it. Try to observe it for at least 15 minutes. At the beginning it might be difficult if you don’t have experience in meditation or haven’t meditated in a long time. There will be many thoughts coming through your head… don’t force yourself not to think about anything, just ignore the thoughts when they come and get your attention back to your breathing. Observe, feel and acknowledge how the air comes through your nostrils and goes to your lungs, which expand and deflate. Observe how your living body works and understand how important your breath is. (tip: google “Pranayama”)

How about your heart? Have you paid much attention to it lately? No, not during amorous break-ups. I mean, closing your eyes, breathing normally and trying to observe your heart, how it beats, how it pulses your blood (life-source). Do this with all your organs or anything you want that makes you feel alive, including your sexual organs. Oh, your back hurts because you stayed too much in the same position? Don’t change the position just yet, try to observe… you have an itch? you wanna pee? you wanna sleep? That is your body, your LIVING BODY.

Perfect!

Stage II: Acknowledge Death

Now image yourself not having all these experiences. How would it be? Is it good? Is it bad? How does it make you feel?

Does death hurt? When? How much? WHY?

What happens next? How would you feel after your physical pain or sensations are no longer there? Is it good? Is it bad? WHY? How do you feel about it?

Have you ever seen someone dying? No, not in the movies, but in real life. What did you see? How did it make you feel? How do you feel now?

You haven’t seen someone dying, but you seen someone dead? How was it? What thoughts or feelings did it give you? Why?

A very big impact is when you actually carry a dead body in your arms, or at least touch it. Observe how it is, how it feels. It is a sensation that can’t be described, only felt.

Done!

I won’t tell you what idea you should come up with, because it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good or a bad feeling. What matters is what YOU feel and think about it. But please, give it a little attention. After all, we all die. Even plants! Nature itself dies, right now, in October, on Samhain! The leaves fall, grains die, bugs die. And then… comes spring.

Only after you done these two stages you’ll be able (to some extent) to understand if and why Death is worth celebrating. But at least I’m sure it has to be respected and accepted and no longer feared. Death is also part of existence.

And pay your homage to the Dead! They know more about it than you do. If you have a dead relative that you haven’t visited recently, go there on the night of Samhain and do what ever you feel like doing there. But be one with Death…. you will be revived after that. Just like nature on spring, with the grass as green as ever.

Enjoy your experience! Happy Samhain!

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Isaac Asimov

The post Contemplating Death appeared first on Occult-Study.

Romanians are people who stick to their traditions. Even though Christianity is and has always been very important in our country, many of our pagan traditions have remained in rural areas, either unaltered or combined with (as usual) Christian elements.

There are a lot of traditions and beliefs regarding death and dying in Romania, there are even celebrations for them in which the dead are celebrated, remembered and prayed for. Four examples are Moșii de Primăvară (Spring/March 9), Moșii de Vară (Summer, June, before Pentecost), Moșii de Toamnă (Autumn/November 4) and Moșii de Iarnă (Winter/February 18). These are commemorations of the dead, when people make offerings, light candles, clean the graves, and are mentioned by the priests in the Church. The term moșii or moși would translate as “old people”, but is actually a reference to the ancestors, which is are our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and other ancestors. The dead are first commemorated and prayed for after their death, when people have feasts (called parastas) and eat in honor of the deceased, but there are other feasts held in their honor depending on the time that passed after their death. Besides these, there are even more death celebrations and then there are Moșii. There are literally hundreds of traditions and customs, depending on the areas in which they are held. There are certain foods prepared (like colivă), giving foods and goods to the poor and so on. Moșii are celebrated only on Saturday, and two of them are for a general comemmoration of the dead (Moșii de Vară and Moșii de Iarnă).

Moșii de Primăvară is among the most important celebrations of the death cult in Romanian tradition, and like Samhain and other death cults, it is believed that the dead come back to Earth on the Holy Thursday (or Maundy Thursday) and fly free for 50 days, then go back in the underworld in the Pentecost Saturday. In order for this return to happen without any incidents, people make rituals of calming the spirits of the dead.¹

Moșii de Toamnă and Moșii de Iarnă, which are in Autumn and Winter, are called Moșii cei Mari, in an aproximate translation, Greater Comemmorations of the Ancestors. Moșii de Toamnă is held for all the souls of the deceased, both those in Hell and in Heaven, for they are all waiting for the Final Judgement. This is also done because Saturday is the day when Jesus was in buried and his soul went to Hell to offer salvation to all the people who have died.

On October 27, between Moșii de Toamnă and Moșii de Iarnă, there is the celebration of St. Dimitrie (or Dumitru. Saint Basarabov, born in XIII century or XV century in Bulgaria), the patron saint of shepherds.

On the night between 25 and 26 October, before the celebration of St. Dimitrie (or Dumitru. Saint Basarabov, born in XIII century or XV century in Bulgaria. The patron saint of shepherds), there is the romanian tradition of Fire of Sumedru (also Sâmedru or San-medru), which is thought to be 2000 years old. This marks the beginning of winter, and various customs similar to those of Samhain are practice. The main practice is lighting up nine bonfires made up of brushwood, grains and dung. The children start yelling “Lets go to the fire of Sânmedru!” and young boys and girls start jumping through the fire. It is said that those who pass through it will get married that year. Afterwards, old ladies come to give knot-shaped bread, walnuts and apples. The shepherds who want to know how the winter is going to be, put their woollen mantle in the middle of the sheep. If a black sheep lays on the mantle, it means that the winter will good, but if a white sheep sits on it, the winter will be harsh, with a lot of snow. Also, if in the night of Sumedru there is full moon and a clear sky, it means that the winter will be mild, but if there will be clouds and rain, it’s a sign that the winter will be cold and will have a lot of snow.²

We can obviously see the similarities between Moșii and Sumedru with Samhain and other celebrations of Death. The dead are commemorated, bonfires are lit, offerings are made, and of course, the similar date which falls in October.

Death is important to everyone, and every culture has a death cult. It is the Great Equalizer, which makes us all the same in front of it, thus we have developed entire cults, traditions and beliefs, we have gave it forms and names and attributes. It is a fascination and a fear that can be found everywhere, every time.

¹ https://www.crestinortodox.ro/parastas/mosii-vara-pomenirea-generala-mortilor-74859.html

² Marcel Olinescu, Mitologie Românească (București: Gramar, 2008), 316-317

The post Moșii and the Fire of Sumedru appeared first on Occult-Study.

Like I said. This was necessary. I believe it is my responsibility to tell the truth, even when it hurts. And since I’m talking about truth, I want you to know that the Absolute Truth is that there is no Absolute Truth. At least that’s my opinion. Christians, Gnostics, Kabbalists would say that the Absolute Truth is God, but since nobody truly knew God, we’d just be philosophizing instead of being practical. If you find yourself in these descriptions don’t hate me. Consider it a mirror. Don’t hate the mirror, hate the reflection.

I want you to know that I’m not playing a game on you. I’m not here to take your money in exchange for a poor binded “deluxe edition” book filled with lies. I’m here to say things as they are, or as I see them, for free. If you want to donate and become a Patreon, good, I truly appreciate it. But making money out of this project is not my purpose here. I’ll continue to do what I can with Occult-Study as long as I can, and as long as it provides quality content. When it will become a source of bad information, I’ll stop working at this and find a new “hobby”. But until then, I’m here, trying to make a small difference.

So… Did I mention I’m not an occultist, magician or initiate? Oh yeah, I did. Many times. Maybe I was, few years ago, when I was doing meditation, doing rituals, etc. if that’s what it means to be an occultist or a magician (I don’t think that’s what it means). But in the meantime, I decided to call myself a human, and try to be human, accept my limited condition as a human and the idea that only few people can actually achieve something in magic, not every guy/girl on Facebook who calls himself an occultist/magician/initiate (not to mention the goth chick who call themselves witches), who says he is doing rituals, who posts videos or pictures of his altar or rituals, but the results can’t be seen in his life. Lighting candles at the altar doesn’t make you an occultist, just like kissing icons in a Church doesn’t make you a Christian.

I mean, between them and normal people I don’t see much of a difference. They have the same problems, the same attitude, the same this and that. So what makes them occultists/magicians/initiates and not normal people interested in the occult?

I’m asking this because I’m trying to make a point of what an occultist, magician or initiate means from my perspective.

Any of the above terms are, in my opinion, much more than people think. They are stages that actually happen after a lot of work and implication, that change you from a normal man to something superior. No, not a god-like person, but just something superior. Knowing a lot of things about the occult doesn’t make you a magician. It’s the change that happens within you, and the results that magic played in your life. The things that clearly differentiate you from the other people, not your occult book collection or your ritual tools.

I’m not saying that in order to be a real occultist/magician/initiate you need to have a lot of money (because the grimoires state they can give you that) or a lot of great, almost incredible things. I’m not saying they can’t be achieved through magic, but I haven’t seen this happen to the people proclaiming to be magicians/occultists/initiates. That’s not a problem. The problem is, I don’t see any difference between them and other people who are not involved in magic. They also have depression, life crisis, limits, problems, etc. and can hardly cope with them. And that’s where the difference begins.

Occultism, magic and finally, initiation (as it was described perfectly by Asterion in the article Initiation and initiation) are meant to help you overcome these limits and take you to higher levels. So, since I haven’t been able to overcome these limits, I don’t dare call myself any of those. Not even a Satanist, because a Satanist is someone who represents Satan, and in order to represent Satan you must be a good example… and I’m not the best example. Whoever wants to represent his religion or practice, must be a good representation by himself. So, I decided to accept my limits and stop putting false labels on myself. I wish other people did the same.

I’ve had hundreds of discussion on this subject, but I’ll give you just a brief look into what I’ve been trying to say all this time. I know it’s long, but out of respect for the time I’ve spent writing it, read it. After you’re done, you can do whatever you want.

On the Occult-Study Facebook page I’ve posted a message on 14 August 2019 that resulted in a huge debate/fight with other people. It’s actually something I wrote back in April 2017, and I decided to post it here as well because, from my perspective, it’s the sad truth. This is the message, along with the image attached, that generated a lot of discussions:

“Occultism is my life” = “I mostly live my life in my bedroom behind the monitor posting irrelevant stuff like being so proud for being an occultist like it’s something that makes me superior just for naming myself as such, and everybody non-occult is stupid. I rarely go out in the park or with my friends at a beer, I’m overweight, addicted to some kind of medicine, depressed af for not having a bf/gf… and Thoth is cooler than Hermes… but Crowley is the greatest.. I never read quality material, but mostly made-up stuff written by others who wanna make money out of their fantasies which I ironically believe in, because academic stuff is not saying that occultism is the shit, it’s just too much information there that I can’t handle… as for rituals, I rarely light a little candle, mostly black, set up a mini altar with Baphomet images, take some pictures of it to post them on Facebook so people know what I’m a SERIOUS practitioner… but I never have results.. but fuck it, at least i’m practicing, right?

This one dropped like a bomb, and criticism flooded the post. Some people actually went nuts, trying to convince me of their extraordinary results and multiple experiences and knowledge. Others agreed. So, I had to make another post in response to those, which was;

It seems I touched a soft spot for some people, and I’M GLAD I DID. Because people need to wake up! This page, this website… they are not made in order to get likes and followers, they are made to educate. And the previous post has acted as a mirror for the people, and they didn’t like what they’ve seen in the mirror. The post was meant to open the eyes of the occult community, to help people understand the importance of social life, of health, of serious literature, of serious practice. What responses did I get? People bragging even more about how great they are in occult practice. Nobody said “actually I have a healthy life, I eat healthy, I do exercise, I’m in shape, I don’t do drugs, I socialize, I have a girlfriend, I go out and have fun, I live my life.” No, they actually CONFIRMED what I posted. The thing that they waste their time in their rooms meditating and doing this and that (i’m not going to quote them, you can see their comments if you want).

If you want to be an occultist, be true to yourself and be true to the others. Stop acting, stop pretending, stop bragging about it. To call yourself an occultist or a magician is easy, but being one is a different thing. I don’t call or consider myself an occultist or a magician, but some people do, even if they’re a fucking wreck.

A moron asked me “How does it benefit you to attack your own followers?”. Seriously? My followers? Attacking? No. I’m not attacking anyone. I’m helping people realize that the occult is more than sitting on your ass and taking photos of your altar, it’s more than talking on the internet. People need to start living their lives, get their asses out of the house and start having social lives, healthy lives. I don’t care how many followers this page has, I care the content it provides! I rather have 100 good followers than 10000 idiots. No, I’m not attacking people. I’m trying to open their eyes to the importance of LIFE, because being an occultist is more than rituals, books and shit like that. It’s about LIVING! IT’S ABOUT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF AND RESPECTING THE ART AS SACRED, because esoteric is meant to be hidden, otherwise it’s exoteric, it’s profane not sacred. This is a lesson! Wake up!

If you don’t agree with my position, feel free to unlike and unfollow this page.

74 comments followed after this, again with good and bad reactions.

One comment really impressed me though, when a user named Rhian Jones said

One has to know them self first and foremost, that is the foundational step towards the long journey towards self mastery. If one ignores the inner work and avoids the mess their life is in, doing nothing but praying or chanting for an outside force to undo the chaos in their life, then they have missed the entire point of the occult itself.

Another comment, however, impressed me in the opposite way, and again I need to copy-paste that here to know what I’m talking about.

Well it seems you’re bragging your self.

What’s a wreck? A beggar? The greatest masters ever were beggars, wrecks, drug addicts. Yes, Buddha ate one hemp flower a day, not a seed. Christ is from krestos and means to be anointed in cannabis oil.

What we now have is more then what any human had in recorded history. We are on the brink of merging with AI and robotics as well as bioengineering. There’s even more.. now, as far as going out and living. We should all do as you do? Because you’re happy? What makes you happy doesn’t make others happy. Are you happy being alone? Many people are? You have a girlfriend? That’s great! Is she your friend or a committed sex partner? What is I like being by myself and using pornography? Or my imagination? Does that mean I shouldn’t like that because you don’t? I’m glad you have some one you can trust experience life with, that’s kewl. As far as going out and living, maybe people feel safer discussing these topics online so that image doesn’t get in the way.

I mean, what if connection with people online is better for them and more available to speak of such topics.

So, with that being stated, this has nothing to do with study. As most scholars are nerdy, book worms and don’t care for people as were a cruel species. Why don’t you try to create a state by state social occult forum and or group. As this is STUDY

I couldn’t resist replying, but I knew that if I’m going to answer, I’m going to waste a lot of precious time, but I did it anyway.

This is what I’ve been working for over the last 10 years…..

Sir, dude, however you want me to call you… I don’t know about Buddha eating one hemp flower a day, but I swear that if the information about Jesus Christ was anointed in cannabis oil is true, I’m going to become your adept and learn from you, start my studies all over.

Nevertheless, none of them are Buddha or Jesus, and if Buddha or Jesus used cannabis it doesn’t mean that every junkie is the same as Jesus and Buddha. Your logic here is making my brain explode.

As for me bragging myself, again, you’re wrong. I just said I don’t call myself an occultist or a magician. Does that seem like bragging?

What we now have is a total disconnection to ourselves, our spirit, nature. “We are on the brink of merging with AI and robotics as well as bioengineering”. Exactly! Robots to do everything for us, so that we may sit more on our asses and do nothing, become fat asses and instead of having real girlfriends we’ll have sex with robots. Dude, do you even realize what this so-called evolution means? Do you even realize where the world is going to? Everything you do, everything you say is being monitored, Big Brother is no longer a fantasy from Orwell’s 1984, it’s a reality. Our identity, our freedom, etc. are taken away. And you’re happy for that?

As far as going out and living… it’s not about doing as I do, it’s about what people are designed to do! I don’t even know why I’m responding to this message honestly. As for your message about being by yourself and masturbating to porn WHILE CALLING YOURSELF AN OCCULTIST/MAGICIAN… again, I’m not going to comment on that. I honestly think you need psychotherapy, dude. It’s not a healthy way of thinking and living. And it’s not something that I say, it’s something that it’s clinically proven. We’re not even talking about being occultists anymore here, we’re talking about being mentally and physically healthy.

After this response, the conversation continued with him trying to show me that Jesus was anointed with cannabis oil, quoting from a book called The Western Mysteries by David Allen Hulse, who he said (I quote) “The author seems like a great guy, he’s in my friends list.” I tried to explain to him from all points of view that a theory and a proof are two different things, that while Christ does indeed mean anointed, it doesn’t mean anointed with cannabis. It’s a theory, not a scientific or historical or theological or etc proof. As for the oil, it’s called Chrism and I gave him links to what it is, how the Jews used it, what it was made of etc. After that, everything went crazy and it’s not relevant to the subject I’m talking about in this article.

After all that mess, I tried again to make myself understood by posting the following:

I’m not an occult master, I’m not a magician, I’m not an initiate. I’m a simple man trying to make his life better, who also happens to be a spiritual person and trying to use spirituality to make life better and to evolve. I’m studying and practicing for my evolution, perhaps not as much as I should, but I’m doing my best, and I’m trying to be honest with myself and with the people I meet and the people who read my articles and my website. I’m not here to impress, I’m not here to give lessons, even though sometimes I cross the line when I see the arrogance of people and their attempt to lie to others and to give themselves a false image, when in reality they are totally different.

I am a man, just like you, who tries to keep a balance, who tries to be realistic, honest and humble, but sometimes I struggle with my ‘demons’ and I start preaching as if I’m superior. I may be superior to some, but many are superior to me. We all need to learn from each other, we all need to be honest and authentic when we speak about ourselves and about our work in the occult science. Bragging is something I never liked, especially when it comes to rituals and spiritual results, and that’s mostly because they are based on lies. That is the reason why I posted those messages earlier, and why I said the things I said. Some will understand, some will not. Like I said, I’m not here to impress. I’m here, trying to give the people a good resource of occult material, trying to avoid articles that speak of personal experience (because personal experience is something that will vary from one person to another) but putting more accent on the historical and theoretical part of occultism. What people do in their spiritual practice is their business, the way they use the information from my website or from other sources is their business. I just don’t like people bragging about it. That is all. I hope I’ve explained myself better.

Kind regards to those who have an open mind.

After this post I received some answers and questions which I also feel I should share.

One user asked:

You are clear enough in simple terms. Although I believe that Life is in experiencing..and as individuals. .we all have different experience even if we use the same method and application. .Don’t you think, that, if we share our individual experiences…we can master events better? Just asking anyways..

I replied:

Yes, I believe we’re all different, but some things apply to everyone. If you eat fast food and take drugs your health will be ruined, it’s not something that happens to an individual or several individuals but to anyone who does that. Of course, if people want to destroy themselves it’s their decision. But the goal in the occult arts is to evolve, not to destroy yourself. That’s how I see it, anyway. Also, if you retreat from society and stay in your bedroom all day or go to work and then back into your bedroom, creating a sort of personal world for yourself and the only contact you have with people and the outside world is done indirectly (through the internet), after a while your sense of reality will change into something that is created by your mind, a fantasy world.

Another discussion is one I’ve had with a friend who had a hard time, and I’ve tried to give my advice as a friend, but also from the perspective of what an occultist should be like and not what someone pretends to be.

Maybe we’re not friends, I don’t know. I wish we were. Because if I was your friend, this would be my friendly advice. And a friendly advice doesn’t have to be what you want to hear, but something that you need to hear. If you ask me, a real friend must sometimes be tough and not hesitate to tell you the truth in your face, he has the duty to wake you up to reality with a slap on your face not a kiss on your forehead. I tried to have a balance in what I’ve wrote here. Didn’t want to give you a kiss nor a kick in the balls (or, in your case, in the tits). But I had to be honest and direct. Because that’s how I am, and that’s how we should all be. Honesty is probably the greatest virtue.

Friend or not, I’m going to say it anyway… And it’s up to you to judge what I say, you can curse me and block my profile, I don’t care. Because instead of just staying here and agreeing with you just to make you feel better, but actually see that it’s not making you any better, I’d rather stop agreeing with you and even risk losing you as a friend, than seeing you get so fucked up. Again, because I care. And because I care, I’d rather say what I have to say and risk losing you, instead of not saying and just witnessing the way you struggle.

You have many reasons to feel like shit, because you’re in a tough situation. And people are always in tough situations. It’s part of life, of adulthood. Your friend (I forgot his name) who tried to question my “authority” and “life experience” by asking me if I have kids or if I finished a University, didn’t know anything about my life, or how life is in Romania compared to Canada. But I just ignored that attitude, because I know what I’ve been through, even though I’m only 29 years old. People in Romania know a lot about problems, we’re experts in this shit. I’m glad you moved from here.

So being in a tough situation is something inevitable. But, the way you handle that situation is what matters. The way you view things changes the situation. From the start, when you say “happiness is a little extreme” you just set off with the wrong foot, especially when you call yourself “your own psychiatrist”. And especially when you call yourself an occultist. No, that’s not the way a psychiatrist or an occultist thinks. It’s the way YOU think, and the problem is… you’re setting limits by yourself. The occult is meant to break any limits, for a magician the impossible is a barrier that waits to be torn out, an horizon that is and can be touched. Actually, the latest article I’ve wrote for Occult-Study addressed exactly this issue. The difference between an occultist and a normal person, because many people call themselves occultists nowadays just because they light up a candle and read some books. Anyone can kneel and pray, do a ritual, etc… but LIVING your life as an occultist, dedicating every second of it in the improvement of yourself, trying to become better and better, making yourself superior to the common man, all of this is what makes a true occultist, and this is what makes the difference between a dabbler and a true initiate. People make various claims, some even call themselves Gods (like Koetting for example). It reminds me of a video, I don’t know if you know it. It’s with a guy at an interview who says he can predict the future. And the interviewer asks him “so, you can predict the future?” and he says “yes”,  then the interviewer slaps him and asks “you didn’t predict this, did you?”.

And it’s an article where I say why I’m NOT an occultist, and why most of the people who call themselves occultists are not. Let me know if you’re interested in reading it. Might shed a light on some confusion.

Life is hard. You think I don’t know? Oh, sweetheart, you’d be AMAZED if you knew of the things I’ve went through! And the fact that I am still here, still kickin ass is a miracle. And that’s why I allow myself to talk about this. Because I’ve been through a lot of shit. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have any right to talk. But when it comes to hard times, trauma, drama, etc. unfortunately I have a lot of experience. And I’ve used that experience to handle things better, and even help others handle things better. I’ve learned from books, I’ve learned from friends, I’ve learned from the many psychotherapists and psychiatrists I’ve went to, I’ve learned from life itself and most of all, I’ve learned from my mistakes.
……………………………….

Don’t seek wisdom in books, on the internet or whatever. Seek it in yourself! In your life! Forget about all the bullshit you have learned on the internet, trying to understand the nature of wisdom. The true nature of wisdom is in yourself, because wisdom is life, and for you, it is YOUR LIFE.

The normal individual is a dead individual for he seeks wisdom not in spirituality and life, but in the oddest places and most complicated material of books and articles full of undecipherable information. We live in this world and don’t have the eyes to see its beauty. We live in this world and don’t realize that it is from LIFE ITSELF that we need to take our knowledge from.

There’s also an old article on this website that I haven’t promoted, but I think it’s important, especially in this case, since we’re talking about balance in life and spirituality.

I don’t know how and why I forgot about this article, but I just read it now and it seems that I really needed it. I’ve somehow become what I was writing in this article in 2008/2010, that is, disconnected from spirituality and too connected to the mundane world. I was 18 years old when I wrote this, and 20 years old when I published the book. Even so, this still applies, at least in my case, 12 years later. I hope it can be useful to you too. So, in addition to this article you’re reading now, go check this article as well: Balance in life and spirituality.

Two other articles that should be read as an addition to this one, as they’re treating the same subject, are Occultism of Today and the Stereotypes (a ranting) and About imaginary results. And most of all, don’t forget to read the article I already mentioned, Initiation and initiation.

Why did I write this article? Because I want to make it clear that I am not and neither do I consider myself to be an occultist, magician or initiate. I am far from being one. I can’t even call myself an “armchair occultist” as people like to describe those who just study the occult, because I haven’t even studied that much compared to others who wrote on this website. I have a lot to study, a have a lot to learn, but first of all.. I have a lot to live and to experience in life! At the moment, I am a man who wants to experience and enjoy life, because there’s also a lot of great stuff to be learned from life itself instead of books or rituals. The fact that I’m running a website about occultism doesn’t mean I’m an occultist, like the fact that one who studies occultism from an academic perspective doesn’t mean he is an occultist. These things need to be understood and remembered, even by those who are doing rituals with their HGA after a week of total debauchery with sex, drugs, alcohol and whatever. I hope that people will start understanding correctly that being an occultist is more than practicing rituals and reading about the occult. It’s about an evolution and a change within.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

– Carl Gustav Jung

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(Creation of the Sun, Moon, and Plants, fresco from Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo, 1511 – Source)

The existence of a Supreme God is found in all religions, being presented as being Eternal, Omniscient (all-knowing), Omnipotent (supreme power), Omnipresent (present everywhere). Jehovah (the Judeo-Christian God) is the most known of them and many have been said about him. In this short article I want to talk about his existential nature from my point of view.

God is presented in Christianity as being an entity/deity looking similar to man. While his appearance isn’t exactly described anywhere officially, an image of him has been created somehow, presenting him as an old man with beard. All these representations, both physical and supernatural (omnipresence etc) are, according the C.G.Jung’s psychology, archetypes. The most obvious would be the archetype of the so-called “wise old man”.

The wise old man generally represents the individual of a long life that uses his wisdom in the use of the people. Such an example is the father or the grandfather. This archetype is presented in many religions, but the most obvious would be the representation of Zeus in the Greek mythology.

Another archetype in the representation of God is his supernatural, infinite nature. Features such as omnipresence, omnipotence and omniscience are evidently taken from the nature of the Cosmos. According to hermetic ideology, there is an Universal power, the source of all energies from which the Universe is a part (this meaning that we are also of divine nature). It is the Whole, the All. This explains the logical possibility of God being omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient.

He is the source of all energies, he is the whole Existence of which the Material and Spiritual Worlds are part of, all having different layers that are manifested in the Universe. These layers, or Worlds are connected between them, according to hermetic and kabbalistic teachings.

There is also the theory of the Macrocosmos and a Microcosmos. It is said that they are identical or similar (as above so bellow). The Macrocosmos has been identified with the World, the external Universe and the Microcosmos with Man and the internal Universe (the soul).

Man is an ambivalent creature who is part of both the Material World (macrocosmos) and the Spiritual World (Microcosmos) and can experience both Worlds. We all have this capacity, but not as much developed. Some are born with this capacity, others develop it and others never reach it (or not in a single life).

Getting back to the idea of God, I want to present some ideas about his Universal nature and the reason for which he can be considered an archetype.

According to esoteric belief, this Whole (God) is like a continuous and eternal form of life with its own natural course that never stops. Everything is in continuous motion, in evolution and we evolve and move along with it. What some people consider “Para-normal” is in fact a natural/normal course of this Universe. Every movement and change of ours, of nature, of the planets, is part of this Universe and theoretically, nothing is random or accidental but just the natural course of this World. In other words, when someone says “It was the will of God” he isn’t wrong at all, because God is the Universe and this Universe has its course that organizes and arranges everything (even events in our lives).

According to this idea, if we are part of God and are also Divine, it means that God is also a part of us (As above so below) and is Human. And if this God “arranges” everything in existence and has his own course (in which we are part of) it means that we also, at least theoretically, can change the course of the World in which we live in. Here were are getting to a very interesting idea which could give an explanation for magic and how it works.

Magic is from my point of view very psychological and physical and can be explained scientifically. According the physics, the Unvierse is created of energy. All living things, nature and the elements, are composed of energy. All matter is created by tiny particles like subatomic particles, atoms, molecules, cells and organisms.

Even the spirit is said to be created of energy, only of a lesser density. For example, when someone dies it is said that the spirit detaches from the body. Theoretically, it is true. If the spirit is created by particles, when the body dies it begins to decompose and the atoms detach from the other particles. If this theory is true, it means that it also answers to three other mysteries. If there is life after death, how can God be in different places at once and how can spirits take form and operate in the physical world.

If the spirit is made of particles and can unite particles together, he can create a material body. As for life after death, this is a delicate subject. If we are talking about consciousness, there are two ways of viewing this situation. If consciousness is completely dependent on the body (the brain) then life after death does not exist. If consciousness is not dependent on the body but is actually energy that never dies but only changes form, then life after death is a possibility.

This could explain experiences of past lives and trances in people that they never developed in their evolution. For example, I’ve seen on TV an interesting thing. A woman just made an organ transplant and started having traces that the donor had. The donor was a black male of 20 years of age that practiced martial arts and listed to Hip Hop. After the woman made the transplant, she started practicing contact sports and listened to hip hop. What is more interesting, is that she knew the lyrics from songs she never heard. This could be explained by the fact that the “information” particles in the organ were transmitted from a person to another.

The Universe however, exists in other forms as well, such as the spiritual form. The spiritual and material form are in a direct connection. If these are in direct connection it means that we can change the material form with the help of the spiritual form and viceversa and magic is a method of doing that. Even the definition of magic says that it is “the science and art of causing change in conformity with will” (A.Crowley). Another interesting definition says that magic is “a faculty of wonderful virtue, full of high mysteries, containing the most profound contemplation of most secret things, together with the nature, power, quality, substance and virtues thereof, as also the knowledge of whole Nature”. Cornelius Agrippa tells us that its effects are produced by “uniting the virtues of things through the application of them one to other”.

Having these two notions, we understand that magic is a form of science and art which through the power of nature and combination of these “virtues” can cause change in the world (internal or external) according to the magicians will. In other words, every act produced with the intention of the individual, be it a mundane act or a paranormal/spiritual act, is a magical act. Magic represents the manipulation of energy, the change brought into the world.

Energy is all around the Universe and inside us, and connects us to everything. If it connects us to everything it means that we have a modality to change everything using these energies. The magician, using his mind, can direct these energies from his body to change energies outside himself. This is magical control.

Getting back to the idea of God as a Whole, we understand that all energy is part of God. This explains that God is not only external, as a Macrocosmos, but inside us, part of us, as a Microcosmos. This idea is exactly the contrary of the general conception of God, especially the conception of the Church.

If God is inside us all, it means that even bad people have God in their “souls”. And this makes us understand that God is “good” and “bad”. Even Jesus says that “I am in the Father and the Father is in me” (John 14:10). Jesus had God in himself like we all do. In this case Radu Cinamar makes an importance notice, that if God was not part of us then all the people who lived before Jesus would’ve been some kind of rejects and waste that God just avoided.

The same idea can be found in many cultures. In the Hindu culture, this idea is represented by Brahman, the Universal and Supreme Spirit that is outside us but, somehow, is also a part of us, manifested under the form of Atman.

This Brahman manifests inside us under the form of Prana energy (or Qi in Chinese culture) that can help us realize Atma Jnana (self-knowledge). Once we realized Atma Jnana we get to know Brahman.

The post Contemplation: On the nature of God and magic (needs correcting) appeared first on Occult-Study.

(Source – I recommend reading this also)

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2012 came and gone and nobody got into a parallel dimension, no alien spaceship came, no messiah came to save the Earth from the Darkness (besides the three Sanandas, two Kalis, five Zalmoxes and 126 Jesuses that carry their missions only for money. This being the case in Romania, because outside we only meet Antichrists)

First of all:

Second of all:

Everyone who said about someone or about me that we have a lower vibration, that we emit negative vibrations or any other such nonsense, have got to that conclusion AFTER they met us, after they discussed with us and after they didn’t like us or what we said.

And how does it that every day I am luminous and good for the majority of people, but I am dark and have a lower vibration to someone who simply doesn’t like me or what I do or if I refuse to do something for them.

Because these opinions don’t matter.

I know whose opinion matters. I know people who speak with their soul and are not being bound by their own desires and hidden interests. I know who appreciates the good things I’ve done and is grateful, no matter if it’s a great help or a simple advice. These are the people who see me as a human and never said a bad word about me, nor about others.

These are the people from which all our masters with posters and courses of chakra awakening should really learn from.

The post About imaginary results appeared first on Occult-Study.

I wish to talk about my vision of religion and the stages that I’ve been through, in order for you to exactly understand “what’s the deal with me” before forming wrong ideas.

I believe that everyone must be aware of the importance of his religion in his/her life. Religion should not be taken as a group in which you choose to join, in order to find a place in society. From my point of view, religion is the destiny of each man’s soul, it is his way of life and the highway to Death. Yes, religion can change your way of life, way of thinking. Unlike atheism, religion offers you something more. It offers you a new theory, a “new” pair of eyes, which will help you see the importance of spirituality in life and of the spiritual evolution. Of course, every religion is different. Every religion shows you a different image on life, on the spirit and on yourself. Christianity is different from Satanism, Judaism is different from Hinduism, and so on. Also, each person is different from another and has the right to choose his own religion according to his feelings or thoughts. As you get older, you start seeing life differently and also the religion in which you belong. And that’s the time when only YOU have the right to change your path. That’s what I did too. I have chosen what I’ve considered to be best for my soul, I’ve chosen something I was truly connected with and the path I have needed the most.

I do not know if my religion which I simply call “Egotrism” is in fact a religion, but it is certainly a path of religious essence. As a life guide for myself it turned out to be more than just an ideology. It became my own way of life.

Egotrism took birth out of many paths I’ve studied and some that I have followed. From studying and reading, from the people I have met and learned from, from experience and from maturity, I took the best I got and put it all together. There were books, magazines, papers, articles, websites that I read with a clear mind. There were people that I have listened to with an opened soul. But experience and age were the most important, now I see. A lot is still ‘under construction’, evolution is ever changing and I am still young.

If your guess is that I have something to do with creepy shit such as Satanism and Demons, you’d be right. These were part of my life for almost half of it, and still play an important role in it, just as Christianity and God were for the other half of my very young existence.

But there must be a balance in our lives and we need to learn to take anything we need from any source, be it “good” or “bad”. But that asks a great capacity of understanding and wisdom and only trying and searching can we find what is good and what is wrong (for us). And that is exactly what I have done in recent years and what I will try to explain here.

The “dark” faith (so to speak), embraced my soul back in 2003. Since then I have been studying Satanism and other LHP tradition, with my soul and mind, with an appetite for knowledge and a strong attraction. A strong attraction resulting from the spiritual connection I had with Satan since birth. Yes, I’ve always been spiritually connected to Satan, just as I was with Jehovah (God). Since I was a child I believed in God. We were very close and indeed He played a major role in my life. I have been a very devoted follower to both Gods, in separate times of my life. I always took religion and spirituality seriously for I knew and felt it’s importance and impact in my life. I consider that religion has the role to help the individual to exceed any limit in his way and to evolve both spiritually and intellectually. For that reason, I was determined to leave Christianity behind for the stupid thought that it wasn’t giving me what I was needing at that time.

It is true, that while I was a Christian I was very anxious and frustrated. I felt spiritually empty and vulnerable. And compared to the period I have devoted myself to the Devil, I can say that the “dark” side helped me much more. What I failed to understand all that time, yet luckily got it and understood, is that God was not responsible for the happenings in my life and that I was disappointed by myself and not by Him. I have expected from God what most people expect from an employee or better yet, from a slave. It is true I haven’t asked for money, a house and a wife, but like any man I have asked for guidance and strength. These two have been instead provided by Satan, psychologically explained through auto-suggestion and spiritually explained through channeling.

It is true that the majority of religions, including Christianity have become the exact opposite of what they were meant to be. Christianity as well as many other RHP religions have a great deal of spiritual wisdom to offer if you look at their roots, however in time they have chanced and became nothing more than manipulative and political powers which have no value for the human soul. Thus, I was constrained to form my own path, more subjective and personal, and came up with what I call Egotrism. However, that did not happen until much later, after I went through another important change and spiritual experience with Satanism.

As I was saying, I got to understand that neither God nor Satan are responsible for our life events and spiritual conditions and we must not be disappointed by them, but by ourselves, by our ability to understand certain things which we usually miss.

Perhaps that, if in the right time I would’ve gained the esoteric knowledge that was so well hidden in Christianity and other religions, I would’ve evolved much faster, but that didn’t happen as long as indoctrination and spiritual dogma were the walls that I had to break in order to find that treasure. I was waiting from the gods what I should’ve waited from myself. The guidance and power were in fact in myself and all around me. From a hermetic point of view, divinity is all around and we all have access to it. I didn’t see it that way before. I couldn’t see the esoteric and spiritual teachings offered, either in Christianity or Satanism or any other. I got to a point where I became to see Christianity as a religion that would keep me away from evolution, a weak and limited religion, without logic or spiritual value. But can I be blamed for that?

First of all, the logic behind these religions is so well hidden that it takes years to decipher. With all the symbolism, traditions, dogma, it is hard to penetrate the walls and find the “treasures”. In the case of Christianity, the walls became thicker and thicker with the passing of time because of the numerous interpretations and mysticism added by all the people who worked to establish it as a religion. It is not the same as it was when it was presented by the prophets and lost its spiritual essence in time.

I had to dig further and further to discover all of these, and it was not the first decision I made. As man is a lazy creature of habit, I also preferred the easy way and prefer to ignore the truth and give it false attributes.

I became to see Christianity as a religion that affects people in a negative way in their way of living and thinking. I was a Christian for over 10 years and all I’ve seen was only what it was presented to me by the people who run the so-called Church. And like many others (i.e. Nietzsche) I got to criticize the Christianity presented by the Church, not the one presented by the soul, by the divine, by the prophets. In reality there is a huge difference, but how could I see with my eyes closed?

I came to see Christianity as a monstrosity, presented as a false, satyric and revolting religion. Instead of seeing the esoteric significance of the Cross, I was seeing a crucifix with a tortured naked man.

Christianity, the religion of the CHURCH is indeed nothing more than a manipulative phenomenon for the weak. I’ve seen this and gave fault, unconsciously, on God, whom I associated with all the filth represented by the Church, forgetting about my personal affairs with Him. There is a big difference between spirituality and religion, and the best example that I can offer is the way that God acts and manifests upon the adept and the way Christianity acts and manifests. I’ve made the mistake of accusing both sides.

In time, I’ve changed. Disgusted and antichristian to the bone, I’ve chosen the exact opposite. I chose Satanism, a religion that would have opened new doors, a religion that urges the adept to be confident, autodidact, intelligent… that urges the adept to be a fighter, not a slave.

Now, don’t get me wrong.. I don’t see Satanism as a refuge for those who are unsatisfied by God, or a revenge on the world and God.. Like, a plan B, a second choice . Hating God and being antichristian is, indeed, a satanic act, but for me that religion did not limit itself at this. It was far more than just.. inversed Christianity. It was far more than listening to black metal and screaming “Fuck God ! Hail Satan!”.. that is shit. You can look absolutely normal, you can act normal, you can listen to Shakira and still be a Satanist . What was most important, at least for me, was the relationship with Satan which I always wanted to get bigger and stronger. I wanted Him to be a part of my life, as God “didn’t have the necessary disposition for that”. I wanted to show the world that Satanists are far better than they think. To make them proud when shouting “Hail Satan!”, knowing that the others will not have anything to reproach to them or treat them as enemies but as someone superior.

I believe that the real reason for my decision was not because I loathed Christianity, but because I wanted to know that “someone” or “something” that has been around me ever since I could remember yet never got to chance to understand it. I knew there was something other than God that was influencing me and my life, but I didn’t understand “what” it was back then. Here I am referring to what most people call “the Devil” or Satan, a kind of archetype of “evil” (esoterically understood as a negative force or energy). I knew about Him long before someone told me there’s a devil out there who wants to get your soul. I recognized his presence in my life as a presence similar to that of God, yet somehow different.. apparently, much different. It’s an axiom which one way or another everybody knows, yet like any other unknown detail, man generally prefers to ignore it. Instead, I chose to know it, and by the time I was 12 years old I began to seriously document myself on this subject, and in time I got to understand with whom I was actually dealing with, ending up to personally know this “Satan” and find out what his plans might be for me. I have finally got to understand the whole picture, and by the time I turned 13 years old my life took a big turn at 180 degrees and began to call myself a Satanist. I was, at heart.. and I even symbolically, ritually and spiritually dedicated my life to Satan when I was 16 years old.

There was no one that could change my path. I was fully dedicated to the god that I though was always there for me, the only god that I though that wouldn’t keep me in chains but would offer me liberty and knowledge, happiness and love. That was true to me for a long time until eventually I started having some experiences and, only by necessity, I had to renounce the god that I have loved so much.

I was “godless” until my narcissism took over and declared myself the Messiah Of Myself, The Buddha of My Life. The Gods I’ve worshiped became associates in spiritual work. Little by little, I’ve combined Them and Their religions, and put together what now I call Egotrism, the religion of the SELF. All of that and much more I was able to apply and remake my entire life.

Today I am a new man. I’ve spent many years in “darkness” (read: blindness, or better yet lack of knowledge) and now I see the “light” (I have not became illuminated, but I did learn a lot about myself and life since then). Some people associate God with light, but I don’t care how you call it. I stopped giving names to that which has no name or definition. I only enjoy what I have learned and what I keep learning, I enjoy my life and use all my strength to evolve and it is so fulfilling that I can’t even describe it. I never imaged that I could get to such a level of consciousness. A skeptical might call that bipolar disorder, but… could it be more than that? * smiles *

For over 8 years I was totally dedicated to “darkness”. A pure darkness, not just a symbolic one. I want to say that besides the devastating way of life that I had, my mental and spiritual conditions touched such negative heights that it became suffocating.

For over 8 years I worked with dark forces/spirits, however you want to consider them/call them. Things that at that time, made me think they were the only suitable ways in the 21st century. And certainly, they are so suitable for the modern man from a rational point of view that you’d swear it’s the only reality you may live. But not everything is what it seems, and you need a certain understanding and experience to realize that what seems normal isn’t always good. And you realize that only after a long time of contemplation and experience. You can tell a fool that “this is wrong” and he will believe you. But a smart individual needs more than a warning. He wants to inspect, to verify, to experiment, he wants to convince himself. And that is what I managed to do, after all these years in which I poisoned my being and got to a stage where I felt I was rotting.

I had to die and to rot before I came back to life. A new life. I realize there’s a difference between spirituality, or the pseudo-spirituality which I practiced many years ago, and that pure spirituality, the truly divine experience. Yet, I’m not saying that darkness doesn’t have its purpose. On the contrary, it has a great importance, for without it I couldn’t die and thus couldn’t be reborn. I couldn’t see all the hidden things if I did not search and dwell into darkness. Indeed, darkness is part of reality, is even part of the Divine, but it is a part which must be used with a lot of care and experience.

A spiritual rebirth is like a blooming flower, and that is what I felt. Not that I practiced anything special except some simple meditation exercises. But it is that kind of spirituality in which you no longer need a ritual to awaken your spirit. It is the type of spirituality which, with a ounce of wisdom you can awaken the most spectacular states of consciousness through the most trivial and common things… music, dance, laughter etc. If you give other valencies and perspectives to a laughter or a dance, and you look at them from a different point of view, it will give you more energy than sacrificing a goat.

Just imagine one thing. Back then, I began to emit such a negative energy that people around me were overwhelmed  and wanted to run away. And it’s not me saying this, but it is a thing confirmed by many people who told me about it. Now I found my peace, my balance, my soul.

It is sad, because the world has gotten to such a degraded level of spirituality that they almost lost their identity of a human being. The human being is a spiritual being. It is not an excuse that you work like a slave 12 hours a day, that you have 5 kids and don’t have time for YOURSELF. Life belongs to you and, like you take care of your teeth every morning to not have dental decay you can take care of your soul for at least 30 minutes a day. We live in a world that is way too stressed, depressed and ignorant that doesn’t do anything to evolve, physically, mentally and spiritually. The financial crisis came and no more or less affected us all, we the ordinary people. And suddenly everyone lives to work, instead of working to live. I can’t believe that I am unconscious or too immature to understand that there is no way to live without working like a maniac.

But there’s a difference. When after those 12 hours of work you come home and sit in front of the TV or play video games until you drop of sleep it seems normal that not too late you will have a personality crisis, you will become depressed and tired. I know very well.. I’ve been through that myself. How many of you still have the mood, time and energy to go in the park to run half an hour and to put your thoughts in order ? How many of you still take the liberty for a walk in nature to connect with the soul of the Earth ? How many of you still stay 10 minutes every night in prayer or meditation to feed your spirit with positive energy ? There is no longer a balance in our lives, and once lost you hardly get it back. Again, I know very well.. I’ve been through this. In desperation people go to Church to pray for success in life. Others change their religion completely, loosing their hope in the god that they say that suddenly doesn’t EXIST ANYMORE !

Life is more than it seems. Once you get to know it, you will love it. If you have a simple life, and say it is beautiful now at 20 years of your life, you say it because you have fun dancing, going to bars, pubs and clubs, talking to friends, playing videogames etc. But at a moment, all of these will get to appear so simple that they won’t truly satisfy you anymore. If you have a complex life, and you’re based on spirituality, on nature, on life for real, there will always be something beautiful to learn about life. There are no limits from this point of view. Spirituality and nature offer us much more than we think. There will always be new things to do, to learn.. But only if you are opened to them. If you, in your ignorance, without knowing them, say they don’t exist or that they’re not important, you will never understand the true beauty of life.

A normal individual would say that religion, meditation, magic and all this stuff are too much for him and that they surpass him. The truth is that HE limits HIMSELF and says that they surpass him. Because he doesn’t truly know himself, and doesn’t know his real capability to live. Religion, meditation, magick etc is for everyone just as life and nature and spirituality are for everyone. Its just that we alone put in front of ourselves these limits and say that it is not possible or true or that we can’t do this or that. The normal individual is a dead individual for he seeks wisdom not in spirituality and life, but in the oddest places and most complicated material of books and articles full of undecipherable information. We live in this world and don’t have the eyes to see its beauty. We live in this world and don’t realize that it is from LIFE ITSELF that we need to take our knowledge from. We need to raise our eyes to the sky and see the true magic of life!

Life is beautiful. It is the most beautiful gift that has been given to us, and we are destroying it, like throwing it to garbage.

For there can be no Religion more true or just, than to know the things that are; and to acknowledge thanks for all things, to him that made them, which thing I shall not cease continually to do.

– Corpus Hermeticum, The Divine Pymander, First book

I shout this message to all my friends and all the authentic seekers who have a great potential and admirable qualities, but who are wasting their souls as if they are blindfolded. DON’T LET YOUR SOUL’S FLAME FADE! Live and love what is to be loved. Be pure like you were when you were born and regain your real freedom! Real freedom is not gained through rebellion, but by liberating yourself from all those things that hinder the spirit. Rise like a Phoenix, thinking that you’ve been ashes all this time.. and reborn! It is time for a new life!

The post Religion and Beliefs appeared first on Occult-Study.

(the following article is an excerpt from the book “Egotrism” by F.v.Fargas)

A lot of people look around and wonder in what community they would integrate best, which social group would suit them better. They stay in bed at night, put their heads on the pillow and start thinking at all kinds of ideas referring to their existence and importance on this Earth, and not few are they who are still searching for that Truth about this complex Universe and its mysterious secrets. I wonder if all of this isn’t right under our noses, pretty simple but hard to ‘digest’.

Especially when you wake up at the age of 50 without any real purpose in life, with no great achievements and with no drop of satisfaction. We run our whole lives after things that we consider important, but never think at their connection to us. Some seek financial success, others search for love, others a family etc. Everyone makes what he feels he needs to do but doesn’t put the problem if he really does it for a really important purpose in his evolution. And it IS blamable ! It is not an excuse that you work like a slave 12 hours a day, that you have 5 kids and don’t have time for YOURSELF.

Life belongs to you and, like you take care of your teeth every morning to not have dental decay you can take care of your soul for at least 30 minutes a day. We live in a world that is way too stressed, depressed and ignorant that doesn’t do anything to evolve, physically, mentally and spiritually. The financial crisis came and no more or less affected us all, we the ordinary people. And suddenly everyone lives to work, instead of working to live. I can’t believe that I am unconscious or too immature to understand that there is no way to live without working like a maniac.

But there’s a difference. When after those 12 hours of work you come home and sit in front of the TV or play video games until you drop of sleep it seems normal that not too late you will have a personality crisis, you will become depressed and tired. I know very well.. I’ve been through that myself. How many of you still have the mood, time and energy to go in the park to run half an hour and to put your thoughts in order ? How many of you still take the liberty for a walk in nature to connect with the soul of the Earth ? How many of you still stay 10 minutes every night in prayer or meditation to feed your spirit with positive energy ? There is no longer a balance in our lives, and once lost you hardly get it back. Again, I know very well.. I’ve been through this. In desperation people go to Church to pray for success in life. Others change their religion completely, loosing their hope in the god that they say that suddenly doesn’t EXIST ANYMORE !

Again, I know very well, I’ve been through this and still going through this. An entire life I’ve dedicated in the service of divinity and religion was my guide to illumination for a long time, but my mistake was that I followed a single path without giving any importance to the other that could’ve been beneficial as well. And here comes the idea of balance again. A real man is a balanced man from all points of view, not a horse who sees only in one direction. What I’m saying is that, in my opinion, we need to widen our horizons, to increase our capacity to understand more than we proposed and to analyze everything that gets in our way to have success in life.

The world is indeed in a shade of grey, an ambivalent world which asks for concomitant understanding of all that surrounds us. Each part is in direct connection with its opposite. Satanism is different from Christianity, just like Buddhism is different from Islamism.. or any of them with another. If you have a little idea about the occult you would know for example, that every system of belief and occult practice has a very big connection to all the others existent. Almost the same thing applies in day by day life, in almost all functions and living sites. Also, every person is different from the other. But if you lived enough time with another person, you begin to complete each other. Interesting, right ? It is like a puzzle, in order to complete it you need to use a piece from each.

If you worshiped God your whole life and suddenly got mad at Him and got to plan B, running over to the ‘dark’ side doesn’t mean you made a big step forward. It means that you stayed exactly in the same place. Why, for example, don’t you think of what was missing in your life of a good Christian to be able to fill it with something from your life of a good Satanist ? Anyone can be mad at God because He won’t put bread on your table, he won’t bring you a wife in bed. It is still up to you.

I think the first thing you have to do to change now and to really start your journey to a better person and to a better understanding of this world, no matter what your age is, is to become honest. With yourself first of all. As long as you stay honest and accept what you learn, your path to wisdom and knowledge will be clear and you will get to know life as it is. That’s what seems to me the most important thing in life. “Honesty is the supreme connection between souls”. And to accept what you learn, even if its something difficult to grasp. You will understand what I’m talking about here after you finish reading this. I know that many of you will not agree with what I am about to say here. Especially ‘new comers’. And I understand why. We’re all searching for the perfect path, simple, beautiful and rewarding. Aren’t we ?… you know, I’ve had the same views like many of you. Reading the websites that were said to be the perfect sources for this information, I was beginning to think of life and Satanism (which I was studying at that time) is something so fluffy and cute that I was fucking amazed. Now after all this time, I smile when I look back at those times when my naivety was boundless, taken to paroxysm. And I talk to my Satanist friends that also been there and we smile together. Veni, vidi, vici. Whenever there was something negative said about Satanism we refused to believe it. Some were, indeed, gammon. But many things turned out to be true, and now we understand it only because it has been proven to us by fate. And so it is. The path that we chose to follow turned out to be much different than we once thought. The more time spent in this religion, the more it changes you. Same applies to all religions!

I want to tell you an interesting story, but before I start babbling, I want to warn you. I want you to know that I am not playing a game on you. What I am about to divulge is information that I had to discover for myself. It is something few people get to know and understand. And if fate will get you to encounter this on your path, you will then understand and know that what I am saying here is true. I have no reason to lie. There’s nothing to gain out of this, except an image of me being a smart ass that I really enjoy having. The reason I am willing to divulge this information is because I want to help, or in this case, warn those people who really want to know life about what is ahead.

It is a story about a very old friend of mine, which I will present here under the name “X” for secrecy sake. He was, in a way, my mentor, in life and in spirituality. He guided me and taught me ever since I was a kid. He was model for me. He helped me like no one ever did, not even my mom and dad. While we were Satanists he was the best example of a Satanist I’ve met. And so wise and determined as he was, not only fooled me, but even fooled himself. Something happened to him… something that I felt to happen for a long time.

The man turned his back on Satan, as it happened, and began to question his purpose in life. In time, he changed. At first he ran back to God, becoming not a Christian (A Christian is an idiot who follows blindly) but a Man of God, fully aware of the sickness that is in Christianity and in the world. There are few reasons for this change he made, but only one I believe is in your interest. That reason is simple. He seen the true nature of the gods. And he didn’t like it all. And he got scared. And thus this fear perhaps was stronger than his dedication to Satan and sought to get protection under the god that he started to call The Only God. Now if you ask me, he truly understood something out of this. Indeed he seen the true nature of Satan, yet he did not understand it. Only a bit later he discovered that God wasn’t the best choice either. Veni, vidi, sollicitus. (“I came, I saw, I got worried”)

Before I got these news, he invited me to his city at his home to begin a journey throughout the country. A journey that he said will change my life. He didn’t care to tell me more about it before I got to him. So when I got there, he gave me details.. we were going to visit some orthodox monasteries where we were going to stay for about a month and study (psychology and the occult) and participate in Christian rituals. The reason I rejected his offer was not because of the monasteries, I don’t give a shit about them. But I knew he had some plans for me, and in my opinion, he was trying to convert me to Christianity, something that I just couldn’t image myself to do at that time, when I was totally dedicated to the darkness, body and soul.

We talked about it enough for me to make an impression. He, who had been working with Demons and Satan for a long time, was now explaining to me how the Demons and Satan will never help him the way that God could. He told me that, as a Christian, he will continue to work with demons by means of Christian magickal systems (the Solomonic tradition) and that by doing so he will make his life better and be able to evolve in a way that he could never have as a Satanist. As a Satanist, I didn’t agree with this, so this came pretty bad for me and had to wish him all luck in his new lovely path and abandon the man that was once my best friend, my brother, my mentor. For the entire week I had received signs that could have turned me back to him. People harassing me in the bus with Christian prayer books, beggars at the subway chanting prayers to God and an entire fucking radio show about Christianity and God related miracles on my way back home.. but I couldn’t get back. Doing so the probability of us starting a fight and throwing fists and karate like kicks at each other was very much expected.

It wasn’t long until we got back in touch, when curiously enough, we both ended up with the same beliefs. That is, lonely souls in collaboration with the gods. The time I spent talking to him though, was worth. What he told me about Satanism and Christianity was something that I already knew, but didn’t accept. That is, that Satanism is indeed a very dark and sometimes negative path, and Christianity isn’t so bright and sweet either. What he failed to understand however, was that Satanism has also got a very positive side, just like Christianity. That Satanism, as Life itself, is neither Black nor White.. It’s really in a shade of grey. And one thing that I have learned while being a Satanist is that, duality really exists in the universe so we cannot ignore one side and only accept the other. We need to learn to have a balance and accept both sides as they both have a role in our lives. I’ve learned that duality needs to be understood, respected and embraced as part of the Whole.

Everything has a reason. If you run away from it, you’ll remain ignorant. If you search for it, there’s a high probability that you’ll become wiser than you expected. Life is full of mysteries. It is our mission to solve them. But for that, again, I must get back to what I said at the beginning of the essay… We must stay honest! And also, as I stated many times in my essays, we must be self-taught. Because we all experience life in our own ways. What is true for someone may not be true to you. That is, if a homosexual tells you that ass is better than pussy, that is not a rule. Its something true to him, and may not be true to you. Get it ?..

Don’t seek wisdom in books, on the internet or whatever. Seek it in yourself! In your life! Forget about all the bullshit you have learned on the internet, trying to understand the nature of wisdom. The true nature of wisdom is in yourself, because wisdom is life, and for you, it is YOUR LIFE.

The normal individual is a dead individual for he seeks wisdom not in spirituality and life, but in the oddest places and most complicated material of books and articles full of undecipherable information. We live in this world and don’t have the eyes to see its beauty. We live in this world and don’t realize that it is from LIFE ITSELF that we need to take our knowledge from.

The normal individual does not believe in such knowledge because he doesn’t see it. In order to see it, you must seek it. And to seek it, you must be serious about it. Most of the wisest people, were/are spiritual people.. Why do you think is that?.. life is much more than you see with your eyes. This Universe in which you, dear reader, are living in, is far more complex than it seems.

Juggle with information, learn from all you can, but analyze everything and think of how it connects to you. It is like a puzzle, in order to complete it you need a piece from everywhere. I may tell you how the road looks, I may tell you where it leads to, but I just cannot say what you will encounter on your way. It is up to you to walk down the path and find out.

Try everything and see what is good for you. The ‘Law Of The Fist’ is not the inconvenient just as the ‘Law of the Mind’ is not the only one “reasonable” It’s something in between.

To get to know yourself and the world as it is, you need to go through some stages. Some of these stages are forbidden in Christianity, or are simply ignored by the majority of people. An example of such a stage is to get to know your negative/dark side. Every man has a negative and a positive side. To get to know yourself truly you must understand both sides of your being. A psychiatrist named Carl Gustav Jung, said something like “Illumination is not reached by visualizing the light, but by exploring the darkness”. Perhaps as a completion to this, the website of the magickal order Dragon Rouge used to have written on the front page “The ‘darkness’ is a mirror of the depths of the soul. All that is hidden inside us, our desires and our fears, is projected on the darkness.” The ‘darkness’ is that part of your soul where all your secrets and answers are hidden. A big part of your essence. In order to illuminate yourself you need to explore this dark side of your soul. Here you will find many negative things, yet very important things about yourself. After all, not even light can show us everything. In the daylight, we cannot see what it’s really up there in the sky, how the stars and the Moon are watching us.

We need to learn these things about us, no matter if they are negative or positive. Many things might seem horrible and difficult to accept, but they are real, they are part of our nature and we cannot deny them. Denial keeps us away from wisdom.

In real spirituality there is no good and evil. Here Good and Evil do not matter anymore, don’t even exist. These are just human terms and conceptions. What is in real spirituality is beyond good and evil. It goes beyond these borders. It passes the a human limit. And even so, man has created these terms in order to understand easier what is around him. Do not be fooled by appearances.

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